Wednesday, October 04, 2006

4th October 2006

a few more hours left to today... just seems like yesterday that i was 12 years old blowing out candles on a gigantic cake shaped in the numbers 12.. or maybe i was just little then. How time flies. Another birthday on an ordinary day.

I used to think that i would feel the same inside no matter how old i was and that our outer appearances would just age and inside we would be the same 12 year old we once were. In many ways, i can relate to that 12 year old but sometime this year, something changed in me. Like a light bulb switched on and a voice inside went "huh?" Suddenly I realized i had changed so much over the last year.
I thought i would list a few important things i have learnt.
1) i realize that i understand things much deeper today and have the capacity to see beyond myself and how life is interconnected. i learnt to look through others eyes.
2) i learnt about consequences and responsibility of actions.
3) I learnt to love others as i love myself but most importantly i learnt how to love myself unconditionally. That I am lovable because i am allowing myself to be loved.
4) I learnt to forgive myself and others because they are no different from me. In forgiveness, i learnt to let go and move on.
5) I learnt about self respect which is non different from self love. i learnt that the source of my self love comes from within me and is unconditional and infinite.
6) I learnt not to hurt myself by thinking irrational thoughts and feelings.
7) I learnt that i can be strong when pushed.
8) I learnt to be true to myself because when I am not, i struggle. When I am true to myself, i realize that i do not need to fight because it is meant to be. Sometimes i think that maybe i'm being too weird with my art and have doubts as to whether people would like me... but then i remember that if i wasn't being myself, i wouldn't be happy.
It's just an ordinary day in a year full of extraordinary experiences.
Thanks for listening :o)


Natalie B said...

Sulea, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday. I haven't been reading the birthday emails that come from Stampgropers as I can't keep up with the cards at the moment. I would really love to catch up with you soon to give you your pressie and card. Perhaps I could drop it off next weekend?? I will have the children with me, so perhaps I could just drop it off and keep going?? If they got into all your stuff they'd have a field day!! Big hugs to you and you are very wise to have learnt all those things about yourself in one year. Some people go through a whole life time not discovering anything about themselves! Big hugs Natxx

Dotee said...

Sulea - I am very sorry to have missed your birthday too! Am very glad I sent you the collage recently. I would be very happy if you considered it to be your birthday present.
You are a very wise , and beautiful woman. Who has learnt a lot in your time here.

Belated birthday hugs

Dotee xoxo

Sulea said...

Aww thanks Nat and Dot for my birthday wishes :o) Dotee, i already thought you sent me the collage for my bday! :oD

Nat.. i don't want to put you out.. just whenever.. :o)

Sulea... woohoo tomorrow is friday!!!!!!

carmel said...

Hi Sulea, I hope you had a wonderful birthday and wish you many happy creative moments. Keep those happy thoughts in you heart and mind and live your life bathed in the warm glow of your friendships. Love, Carmel xx