Sunday, September 24, 2006

Collage Painting - the Seat of my Heart

how it came to this is unclear
the thunderstorms began to go
the clouds too slowly cleared
Someone called my name and i followed
across the great divide -
between the stranger and me.
There, smilling, beaming so brightly ~ was She
in the seat of my heart
my very own Self
my Heart
my Love
my Joy
my Courage
my Home
my Life
and because of this
wherever i am -
I Am
Before i went to bed last night, i remembered this profound thing a very special lady said to me a while ago. And the way she said it with such trust and faith in me.
At the time, i was lost to myself and although i didn't know it then, i felt like i could not love myself. This was either because i felt that i was undeserving or because i needed someone's approval to love myself. And the sadness I felt from this emptiness made me feel totally lost, confused and disorientated. i didn't know where i was coming from or where i was going.
All she said was, " Sulea, i do not want to stand in front of your light".
That was it. nothing before, nothing after... just that.
and in an instance, it was as though by removing herself, she was giving me the approval to become myself. That it was okay to be whatever no matter what and be accepted and loved because I would be the source of that love.
I realized that i was witholding myself from becoming ... because I was terrified of myself. Making me "visible" through removing the obstacle, allowing me to accept being conscious of that "light" , the source of my existence to be visible and lighting me up.
Whether or not that light exists is not important. Only that the symbolism of what it represented to me makes the difference. This painting is about the connection, the friendship and the bond between being and the love of his/her innerself. It is about the unconditional love that exists when it is given to oneself.
the greatest gift I ever received from anyone is that gift of receiving that unconditional love. and that is what this painting is about.


Natalie B said...

I have seen this in the flesh and it is magnificent. In fact I saw Sulea working on it and she constantly amazes me with her talent. Thanks for such a wonderful day Sulea. Plenty of food/laughs/paint/creating going on. Your suggestions to me, were of so much value too.
Big hugs

Dotee said...

This is another beautiful work of art Sulea. And, even more special as it is a reflection of how you see yourself. Your inner beauty.
I am so glad you are getting together with friends to celebrate art!
Dotee xoxo