Painting - The Burden of Thoughts

The Burden of Thoughts

acrylic on canvas
30.5 by 40.6 cm

Perhaps i should say something. .. there always seems like there is something say, and then i get to a point where because the thought had passed and having been the listener of my own thoughts, that it had nulled itself out. So then, something was said , yet nothing really.

And in a strange way, having reconciled my thoughts like some accounting balance sheet, i am at peace with myself. I prefer this to the rollercoaster rides of emotions pulling to and fro. These days despite the emotions, i feel like a very solid unmoveable concrete statue in stormy weather. Ironically, the result of it was because of the lessons of emotional rollercoaster rides.

I heard somewhere that troubles and problems are not what they seem. They are blessings, that's all.... Blessings because they are lessons and the greatest teachers of all. That's all they are. They are not problems, so nothing at all to fear. So many blessings. Perhaps fear is the result of misunderstanding blessings.

I have always wanted to be that unshakeable tree, that incredibly unmoveable rock, that blank canvas which despite all the paint, is still permanently itself. Yet at the same time like flowing water, not caring where i fall, just falling like the nature of water. The true nature of myself devoid of all the trappings of emotional delusion.

Unshakeable peace, reconciled emotions, knowable unknowables. The funny thing is, when you feel safe in yourself and know yourself enough to understand what you are, Everything is alright.

Whatever happens, it's alright. I'm alright... this must be happiness.